I don't know why, but I've been thinking about an old friend lately.  Julia.  I remember her like I saw her just yesterday.  I miss her like crazy.

Julia moved away the summer before sixth grade.  When she was gone, it really hurt me.  I felt so bad that she had to leave.

We were best friends since the middle/end of third grade.  I thought she was the coolest person ever.  We remained friends until she moved.  We never fought, we never argued.  We had silly nicknames for each other, and we made up words.  We had silly sayings we used to say all the time.  We were really close in fifth grade, the last year I saw her.  We had both our classes together, and Mrs. Skinner's class.  We sat next to each other in all three classes.  We were both the quiet, shy type.  When we were with each other, which was like all the time, all you heard from the teachers was, "Julia, Melissa, be quiet!"

Julia liked to draw.  She's drawn me so many pictures.  I still have a few of them somewhere.

Julia had been having trouble at home.  To keep things short, we'll just say her mother lied to her and her sister about their father's death, and then got addicted to drugs.  Julia's mom said she didn't like Ware Shoals.  She never gave a reason.  She just said she had to move them out of the district.  She did.

The last day of fifth grade, I hung out with Julia.  It was a half day, and only about six people came.  Yeah, I cried.  That was the last day I saw her.

I tried calling her during the summer, but all I got was, "I have to go."  Her mom was making her get off the phone.

I hadn't heard from her for at least two years.  I thought about her a lot, and asked myself where she could be.  One day, a friend of mine called and said, "I have Julia's new phone number and address."  Louisiana.  My best friend was in Louisiana, living with her supposedly dead father.  I called her right away.  We talked for almost two hours.  Then, I had to go.  We only talked once.  We sent letters back and forth.  She drew me pictures and it felt like old times.  I was so happy I was finally talking to her again.

During our phone call, Julia mentioned that she had to go to court in September [I called in August] to see if she was to move back in with her mother.  Her mother was in West Virginia, she thought.  I didn't get to call Julia back until October.  The line had been disconnected.  She was back with her mother, or somewhere else.  I don't know.

I still haven't heard from her.  I think about her coming back all the time.  But, I know it won't happen.  Makes me sad.

Yeah, I've got the best friends ever right now, but I still miss her like crazy.  Nobody can replace her.

-Ninja

Idiots

Yeah.  Another post about religion [I know I posted one today already, but I didn't want that to be really long and severely off topic.].

A soldier in Kuwait wrote Roger a letter regarding the letter he sent the soldier before Christmas break.  I thought it was pretty nice.  It was a nice thought.  It was about 7 pages long.  The guy seemed pretty nice, but he seemed lonely.

Anyway, the guy had a few ... personal topics in the letter that some people were sensative to.  He had stuff about sex, religion, and suicide.

Mrs.  Terry asked if anyone was sensative to stuff, and I said no.  Of course, I'm not sensative to that.  If the guy believes in God, so be it.

A girl tells Mrs.  Terry, "We're not offended by it.  We're all Christians.  We're all good people."

Seriously, wtf.  This is the...second? person that's told me I am not good, because I am atheist, or whatever I am.

I'm using atheism as my religion, because I'm tired of saying otherwise.

I finally talked to this guy about stuff between me and another person.  This person told him that we were "at each other's throats".  Whatever.  I don't care about that anymore.  I showed him a letter this person wrote me, and he said "That's stupid.  She shouldn't care about your religion.  Also, she contradicts herself."  He said he doesn't care about what religion I am, he's still my friend.  Why can't this girl get it through her fucking skull that I am NOT going to be a Christian!?  GRAUGH, it makes me want to stab her.

I want to start being open with my religion and myself.  I want people to know, no, I'm not a Christian, and I have reasons behind it.  I should definately do a study to see how many people like me after I tell them I'm atheist.

Whatever.  I don't care anymore.  However they see me, so be it.  I do.  not. care anymore.  If all these "Christians" were really Christians, they'd understand where I come from.

I'm in a bad mood.  When my mom gets home, she'll tell me to go to bed.  Maybe I should just go do that.  I don't feel good anyway.

-Ninjaaa<3 

Personal ... Stuff

I am so tired; physically and mentally.  Going on 3 weeks with this damn cold.  I've always been a pretty awful insomniac, but this cold is just making it worse.  I try to go to sleep around 11 PM, but I never go to sleep until about 3 or 4 AM.  I wake up an hour later, then finally go back to sleep.  Ten minutes later, my mom comes in with her squeaky, annoying voice going, "Come on!  Time to get dressed!"  I'm tired and exhausted all day at school.  I try not to show I'm tired, because I'll get into a big conversation about how I only care about myself [long story].

So, my parents have come to several conclusions on what my sickness is, and why I'm still sick.
My dad:  1.  "She's faking it so she doesn't have to go to school."  2.  "She's not sleeping enough."  3.  "She's spending too much time staring at a computer screen."  4.  "Maybe she inherited vertigo."  5.  "It's because she's skipping breakfast and lunch."
My mom:  1.  "She's got sympathy for me being sick [wtf?  She's not even sick.  Never was.]"  2.  "She's not sick."  3.  "She's got mono."  4.  "I should take her to the doctor, but it should clear up on it's own."

Ugh.  I dunno.  It's just been getting worse and worse.  It was my voice at first; couldn't talk for a while.  Then, it was my nose.  I couldn't breathe.  Then, my throat started to kill me.  Just recently, my head's been spinning.  I don't know.  I just want to be able to breathe again without something hurting.

I just don't want to go to school.  My mom won't let me stay home, because apparently I've taken off too many days already.  I've taken 2 out of 10 available days.  Whoopie.  My dad won't let me stay home, because apparently I'm faking it.

Yesterday was pretty awful.  I was a kid again, though.  Basically, yesterday was bittersweet.  I woke up pretty sickly, so I took medicine [mother forced] that's side effects were worse than the cold.  It made me soo cold, and my head was spinning worse than it was.  I could barely keep my eyes open, but yet I couldn't go to sleep.  I grabbed my purple Tinkerbell blanket and sat in a chair watching UFO Files all day.  Stayed in my PJs, used my blanket as a cape, and I was bat girl.  I made a crown out of paper clips and drew a rainbow on my forehead.  My mom avoided me because she thought I had gone looney.  My dad just shook his head at me and walked away.

I don't now what I'm going to do about this cold.

Today sucked pretty bad.  I brought my camera, mp3 player, and a Full Throttle to school, but Cait wasn't at school to enjoy it with me.  She makes school somewhat exciting for me, I suppose.  Lost one of my camera batteries, so my camera wouldn't have worked for long anyway [It had old batteries, but they were quickly dying.].  I didn't understand my math work, so I was a little frustrated.

I have a test in science on Wednesday and I don't even understand half of this stuff.

-cries-.  All I wanted was my shoulder, but my shoulder's sick too.  >:[

I had to take a MAP test.  English, for the second time this year.  I got the same score, so it shouldn't hurt me any.  Got to sit in peace and quiet for a little while, being the first one finished.  Just had to listen to Dr. Webster think out loud, which is way better than listening to the constant singing by random people.  Do you know how many songs the people in my English class ruined?

Lunch was a complete and total waste of breath.  Nobody was there, and I didn't want to listen to the devilish laughing of certain people, so I just stayed outside, in the cold, with Callie, Jenner, Zach, everybody else.  Those certain people followed me outside anyway.  As usual.  I enjoyed my Full Throttle that I could hardly taste, and tried to think of something to write for xanga.  Apparently, I did.  Whee.

I'm glad my dad has to work tonight.  I'm tired of his bitching and complaining about how I bitch and complain all the time.  I don't say two words to the guy all day, and as soon as I start talking to him, I'm a bitch.  He doesn't know my eye color, he doesn't know any of my friend's names, and he takes no interest in my life.  I tried talking to my mother about it, but she just said, "He's getting older.  He's too old for raising kids.  Especially a teenager."  Whatever.  Whatever.  I've been told I wasn't wanted already.  Is that not enough?  My dad said he doesn't know anything about raising a teenager.  Bullshit.  He raised 2 girls.  My half-sisters.  They turned out pretty good, why can't he raise me?  Am I that difficult?

I know my parents love me.  My mom is an affectionate woman.  She tells me all the time she loves me.  My dad has never said the words "I love you" to me, ever, but I still know he loves me.  Around 2 AM, I felt really bad, so my dad woke up to help me get some medicine.  It may sound lame, but it's probably the nicest thing he's ever done for me.

I have mixed feelings towards my parents.  Deep down, I do love them, and I've never fully hated them.  Actually, I've never fully hated anyone.  I just get mad.  According to my mother, I'm "just being a teenager."

I have no idea what this entry is about.  Just wanted to get stuff off my mind.

Wow.  This was extremely personal.

Bai.

Religion ... and then some.

I don't say the pledge in the morning.  I don't see any point in it.  I don't believe in one nation under God.  Just for kicks, I should say, "One nation under the Invisible Sky Daddy," [lol@Cait].  I don't know if I can talk that fast though, xD.

Religion in school is so overrated.  My reasoning is not so much for teachers praying or anything, but the students.  I've heard from some people, "They should make prayer a priority in school."  After I argue about it for a minute, they reply with, "But we're allowed to express our religious freedom!"  No shit, dipshit.  That's what I'm doing.

I understand that when an atheist says, "I swear on the Bible," it doesn't mean anything to them.  It serves no purpose because the Bible is not a sacred item to them.  But, just like "Jesus Christ", "Goddammit", and "holy shit", "I swear on the Bible" is an expression.  Complete atheists will say, "I swear to God," once in a while, just because it's become an expression.

If we're allowed to have religious freedom, I don't understand why people shove it down our throats.  I don't shove atheism, or whatever my religion is, down a Christian's throat, they shouldn't shove their beliefs down mine.  I'm respecting their beliefs, they should respect mine.

Christians are great people.  I have nothing against them.  Some of my good friends are Christian, or have been Christian.  I have no care in the world if my friends have a different view on life, as long as they don't shove it down my throat.  That's all I ask.  Let me believe what I want to believe, I'll let you believe what you want to believe.

Let me ask a simple question.  Is giving someone an invitation to church pushing religion?

In my opinion, it is.  It might just be an invitation for friends to see friends, but what do you learn at church?  You learn about God, and why you're on Earth.  I don't agree with it, why should I be there?  From going to a church a total of approximately a year, I found out you go to church to talk about God, not visit friends (I find it quite funny I know more about Christian morals than most Christians).  Just like when you're trying to get an education at school, you shouldn't talk to your friends next to you during class, you shouldn't talk to your friends while someone is reading the Bible.

I think there should be a course in school (as a history credit) all about religion.  It goes through all (most, or just major) religions in the world, all about where the came from, and what they're about.  We did learn religions for about a month, but it didn't help much.  People need to learn that their religion is not the only one.  They need to learn about other religions, and how they came to be.

People don't need to be so stubborn and go, "I am right, just because I am."  If someone (any religion, philosophy, belief) could give me a logical explanation ("I am right, because blah blah blah.") I'd respect them more.  Even if they ARE wrong, they have something to back themselves up with.  The more stubborn someone is, the more I want to prove them wrong.  And if they're wrong, they'll hate me forever.  Not because I proved them wrong, but because they still think they're right, and they don't want to admit they're wrong.  I'm just like that; runs in the family.

Okay, my brain's fried.  I'm done.

Yeah...Hi

So, I thought I'd post something about religion.  It may or may not end that way.  Iono, brain's fried.

According to the "What We Are" video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a15KgyXBX24), religion was made because people want answers, and they want to be saved from death.

According to Cait, religion was made so people wouldn't have so much sex.

I agree with both xD.

Anyway.

Religion is seriously flawed.  God = Christian.  Allah = Muslim.  Allah means God, but to Christians, apparently Allah is a made up character who sucks at life, and should have never been thought up in Arab heads; therefore, we have to go to war with them, because they're making up stuff.

In the news, you see Christians vs. Muslims, but you NEVER see Christians vs. Buddhists, Christians vs. Hindus, etc.  Their god(s) are WAY different than the Christian deity, but only Arabs are targeted because a small percentage believe that they must kill to satisfy Allah.

"Sex is between a married male and female."

I guess that statement was to stop over-population.  But nobody listened, hehe.

Yeah.  I'm running out of things to say.

I might edit later.  Remember, dance monkeys, dance!